Frequently Asked Questions - Conflict Coaching

Conflict Coaching is an opportunity to work “behind the scenes” with a professional dispute resolution expert to navigate a real-life conflict. Your Conflict Coach works with you in real time, helping you clarify your interests, understand your alternatives, and generate ideas for creative solutions to challenging conflicts. Your Conflict Coach also helps you practice and improve your communication with the other party/ies, so you can be the most effective and confident advocate for yourself.

Yes.  Conflict Coaching is a confidential process. Your Coach will not disclose anything that is discussed in your coaching sessions to anyone without your written permission. Your Coach will be working with you only, not communicating directly with any other parties to your conflict. 

Yes. While Coaching is a confidential process, there are some situations when your Coach may disclose statements made during coaching, such as: (1) when she/he witness, or has reason to believe, that a client is a threat to him/herself, or any other person, or to the property of others; (2) when she/he witnesses, or has reason to believe, that a child is at risk or endangered pursuant to the child protective protocol of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; (3) a client institutes a suit or ethics complaint against the Coach and the Coach needs to disclose information from the coaching sessions for her/his own defense.

No. Although your Coach might be a licensed attorney, she/he does not represent you as a lawyer and you should not rely on anything she/he says as legal advice. 

No. Your Coach works with you “behind the scenes” to help you negotiate and communicate for yourself skillfully and confidently. 

Yes. While most clients use a Coach for help navigating a real conflict, some use Coaching to help build specific skills that are helpful for conflict resolution and communication generally. 

That is up to you. You can work with your Coach for as long as you feel is necessary and you can end the coaching at any time. 

Coaching can be in person or virtual depending on the needs of the participants and the mediator. During the CoVID-19 pandemic, coaching will be conducted virtually when doing so is recommended by federal, state or local health authorities during the CoVID-19 pandemic. When those authorities allow for in-person mediations, you and your Coach may convene in person at a mutually convenient place and time, if you both feel you can do so safely. 

Your Coach will ask you to complete a confidential questionnaire prior to the first coaching session that only she/he will read. The questionnaire will ask about your goals for the coaching, the nature of the dispute, your underlying interests and alternatives, what you have tried to do to resolve the dispute, and what you understand about the other party’s/ies’ interests and perspectives. It will also ask your communication and learning style and approach to conflicts generally.

Please notify your Coach prior to the first coaching session if you require accommodations. Coaches will do their very best to provide those accommodations whenever possible. 

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Many people today agree that we need to reduce violence in our society. If we are truly serious about this, we must deal with the roots of violence, particularly those that exist within each of us. We need to embrace ‘inner disarmament,’ reducing our own emotions of suspicion, hatred and hostility toward our brothers and sisters.”

Dalai Lama XIV

The most tragic cause of social disharmony is when the speed with which people find mistakes of others outweighs their simple belief that they too are infallible!

Israelmore Ayivor

Each conflict is self conflict.

Raphael Zernoff

The worst battle you’ll have to fight is between what you know and how you feel.

Turcois Ominek

During the flames of controversy, opinions, mass disputes, conflict, and world news, sometimes the most precious, refreshing, peaceful words to hear amidst all the chaos are simply and humbly ‘I don’t know.

Criss Jami

Asking why you should retaliate often solves the problem better than retaliation itself.

Innocent Mwatsikesimbe

We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The world is an arena where things represent things. It is a stage where the same thing is seen from different lenses as a different thing.

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Before reacting to any conflicting situation in life. Ask yourself a simple question: ‘You want to be happy or you want to be right?

Aditya Ajmera

Conflict occurs everywhere except in the cemetery. Everyone experiences conflict except the dead. Thankful for being alive…

Assegid Habtewold

History is littered with the wars everybody knew could never happen.

Enoch Powell

We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We fight because we fail to understand why really we fight.

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Conflict is not necessarily bad. If you can avoid taking conflict personally, it is actually a way to get better decisions and better results.

Sonali Sinha

You can teach people everything except how to get along.

Marty Rubin

Real conflicts between two people, those which do not serve to cover up or to project, but which are experienced on the deep level of inner reality to which they belong, are not destructive. They lead to clarification, they produce a catharsis from which both persons emerge with more knowledge and more strength.

Erich Fromm

Half of the conflicts in your head get resolved when you seek to understand instead of seeking to be understood.

Nitya Prakash

They began to fight, ’cause they didn’t know each other’s stories.

Jaco Strydom

You can observe a lot by just watching.

Yogi Berra

The source of all the conflicts in the world is in trying to convince everyone that you’re always correct.

Mwanandeke Kindembo

People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou

Discord is harder to end then to begin.

Edmund Spenser

Ten per cent of conflict is due to difference of opinion. Ninety per cent is due to wrong tone of voice.

Ritu Ghatourey

It is a fact that the bitterest contradictions and the deadliest conflicts of the world are carried on in every individual breast capable of feeling and passion.

Joseph Conrad

In some ways, we will always be different. In other ways, we will always be the same. There is always room to disagree and blame, just as there is always room to take a new perspective and empathize. Understanding is a choice

Vironika Tugaleva

Perhaps one day, all these conflicts will end, and it won’t be because of great statesmen or churches or organizations like this one. It’ll be because people have changed.

Kazuo Ishiguro

What would you have? Your gentleness shall force More than your force move us to gentleness.

William Shakespeare

Do not think of knocking out another person’s brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago.

Horace Mann